mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
