She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
