are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
