I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
