Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
