All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I am available for nakedness
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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