I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
