can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
