What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
