ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
two words...techno handjob
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
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