hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
This is classic penis vs brain.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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