So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
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