I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
