Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
