Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize