toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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