Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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