I think my vagina is haunted
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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