you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
