Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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