The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Randomize
