Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
