my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize
