I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Randomize
