If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
