: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
