Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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