she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
