found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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