Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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