I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
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