I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
