I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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