Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize