i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
