do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
