I like to think it a success when the cops are called
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
