New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
