Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
