Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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