he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
