Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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