pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
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