Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
