I'm eating all of the evidence.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
