Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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