That's intense
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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