What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
