someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I just want to make out with him forever
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
