Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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