He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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