You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
