He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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