I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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