ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
