Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
