Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
