question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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