the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
