i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
