That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
